Distractions on Pitch Side

Sunday's Carling Cup Final between Aston Villa and Manchester United was presented with a test of viewers' attention.

Seeing as the Carling Cup, occasionally known as the League Cup, is an exercise in mass advertising (see Worthington's Cup, Coca-Cola Cup, Littlewoods Cup, Rumbelows Cup and Milk Cup) it's little surprise that the digital pitch side billboards were covered exclusively in Carling's branding.

The continuous loop of Carling imagery being forced into supporters peripheral vision was mesmerizing.

More mesmerizing was the inane comments of fan support emblazoned on the digital hoardings. Most likely a money spinning exercise by Carling to make a few quid off a premium rate shortcode text number from fans within Wembley Stadium.

But could football supporters come up with such nonsensical drivel as this?

'FLETCHER -> MARRADONNA' This is where my suspicions of this texting debacle were first aroused. On the billboard was an image of a finger where I've used some lazy characters. Now, I'm now expert on mobile phones, but I've never come across the finger character between the digits 0-9, A-Z. [Not on mine, upon checking.] Although, if one had the strength of mind to make a finger appear on their phone, they'd probably have the means of precognition to see a time when two incomparable players become comparable.

'GOD BLESS ASTON VILLA' If there is a God [I'm not getting into that whole debate] would he really support Villa? Well, if he's the same God that blesses America and sees no problems in them doing things in his name [I'm not getting into the Iraq debate either], well, maybe he would.

'2010 BOYS BECOME MEN' This was in reference to Aston Villa. Apparently a team, who up until the new year were just a bunch of whipper snappers. Who knows what rite of passage they have passed through in the last two months to become men, but it's official. Aston Villa are now represented by 11 men and possibly half a dozen feckless teenagers on the subs bench.

'BUSBY 2 FERGIE UTD 4 EVER' Probably written by a United fan who couldn't understand why most of his fellow supporters have started sporting the green and gold of Newton Heath. Yes stupid man, United have only existed since the 1960s. Plus the paradox of a limited period of time (from 1945 when Busby became manager to whenever Ferguson decides to call it a day) being 'forever' is an interesting concept. I just hope whoever wrote that one just happens to have been born on the day that Sir Matt Busby took charge of United and can subsequently die at the moment Ferguson announces his retirement thus rendering his bizarre statement somewhat logical. To some extent.